Tag Archives: anxiety

Captured silence 

Hands held in silence, bound me up well

Encapsulated in this binding spell

The sound bells ring, then I sing in the silence kept up in my own depths 

Mazed and dazed in my eyes 

Mystified by the tears that I cry 

Of suffocating silence 

Binded by a poisonous spell 

Yet only I can tell 

Double cast 

Two blasts from the past 

Wound up in your case of pure malice, no faith

A loving hate 

Selfish grace 

Greed of wolves in your haste…

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Father Time

Father ticking time

Spending dimes

When will it be all mines? 

How much longer can I wait?

My entire being waits in haste 

Calm me down and mellow me out 

Waiting for this drought to come to an end 

Cracked, dry ground I cannot no longer stand upon 

How much is time is not too long? 

Anxiety gets me 

Agony of jealousy 

Father please help me

See how far I’ve come?

Please sound the drum

Put me on a roll

Mount me high up and roll me down like a holy scroll

Unravel it all

Around of applause

As I erase any doubt that you would leave me thirsty in this drought

It is only a matter of time 

The creator of time

When it will all be mine…

It was in…

It was my desperation, the anguish in my teary voice 

The pain struck me weak and left me hollow inside 

It was my weakness that left me on my knees 

It was in my shame that I covered my face, I battled with disgrace

It was in my ignorance and confusion that left me speechless and baffled 

It was my personal dishonor that left me isolated 

It was in my darkest hour that I saw the light 

It was how brightly it shone that made me rise 

Up to my feet even though I felt too weak

It was in my weary spirit that I gave in and released the sin…

Cloudy skies 

Pink clouds above etches the sky Such beauty to the eye

Parallel the dark clouds that float above in my mind 

That brings tears to my eyes 

How to soak it in externally and mesh it internally? 

Please don’t let it rain on this sunshine 

Cast the demons from my mind 

Make them disappear from my presence 

Adorn me a present with a bow in the sky

Milky Way on high as I light it up to float in the skies 

Can I touch what I can’t reach and bring it back down with me?

Soak in the disappearing sun 

Gather it all in fun

Take a bite sized peak and swallow it in me 

Defrost the windows of my eyes and dry them in the heat 

What a rough week and truly it all has left me weak

Tragic songs from my heart 

How can I turn it into a piece of art? 

Where do I need to start? 

How can I sleep so silently in peace? 

I’m tired of getting up at night because I cannot sleep

I cannot count sheep if I cannot see past these dark clouds that engulf me

Is it a ray I see? 

Breaking past the clouds in my boundaries? 

A beacon of light and hope 

Can I now see the city past the smoke? 

Have the clouds run away from this bright ray? 

Have my prayers been answered? 

I dance to a new norm

I think I’ve cleared the storm

I have to have it all or none at all

What’s left to lose?

Nothing but a solo traveler on the move… 

Balance

Offset the balance in me and create a calamity 

Drop my defenses down

Anoint me with a poisonous crown 

Drive me by the sea with the windows down so I can see

With my hands in the flow 

Take in all I could know 

Feel the breeze 

Calm and ease 

Activate my anguish with one mis-thought 

Deliver me to turmoil 

I’ve lost it all 

Clouds funnel up ahead 

Grabbing on to reality as I steer 

Sink in deeply in my world 

Muddled in the deep

Sulking in my reality…

The 13 year old plague

My soul tossed and turned 

My mind churned 

A heavy baggage my soul kept 

So many nights it made me weep 

So many nights I couldn’t sleep

Lightning flashes across my face

I lift my head to pray

For this cost I felt I had to pay

A deep deep hurt finally caught up with me and you

And I hated you for a bit

I thought about you then me and it was me hurting 

A selfish non-love

And what did it look like?

What did it sound like?

The sound of your voice played in my mind

The scenes of your demons that continued to fight me

You were the plague that follow me

I thought I would have never seen the end 
Years and years 

Depression kept me locked and insane 

A huge swelling in my brain

Felt it down to my soul and I couldn’t grow too old without this story being told

My heart began to swell as I knew the time was drawing near 

I had to tell

I had to kill the demon

The darkness followed me

I felt like I was slipping again

Back into my dread 

I confessed to myself and it left me weak 

Months of debates with myself 

Back and forth guessing 

Back and forth tears 

The seam tore 

The yoke broken and it’s shape seeped into the dwellings of pure white 

Uncover the scales from my eyes

Unveil this beautiful bride into the promise of her future

Take away my pain, this powerful strain

Tired of being taken advantage of

I bet my all 

Taken this fall 

I have not failed 

A slave of one not two 

2016 I was made anew…